Why Is Happiness So Stressful?
by ScribeOfRhapsody
Summary: Ignis was absolutely positive that dealing with these aspects of Noct's life had never been part of his job's description. He wasn't complaining, though. …Well, perhaps a bit. Perhaps a lot, actually. It wasn't even entirely Noct's fault most of the time, things just tended to… happen. (AU. Happy ending with a stressed Ignis, amused/amusing Luna, and clueless Noctis.)


**Another Noct/Luna week entry. :) Happy ending AU!**

* * *

"Prompto, don't shake her! She's a baby, not a hairspray bottle!"

"I am holding her just like you were, Big Guy! And I don't see _you_ getting her to stop crying!"

Ignis sighed, dropping his pen on the documents he'd been trying to finish. Between their yelling and the princess' wailing, it was impossible to get any work done around here anymore. "For Astrals' sake, give her here, you oafs."

He was absolutely positive that dealing with these aspects of Noct's life had never been part of his job's description. He wasn't complaining, though. …Well, perhaps a bit. Perhaps a lot, actually. It wasn't even entirely Noct's fault most of the time, things just tended to… happen. And to think, it had all started off going so smoothly. Their greatest problem had only been Gladio's grumbling…

* * *

"Okay, good! Now just tap _here_ to finish the guy off."

"Here?"

"Yeah."

The victory Prompto always liked singing blared from the phone's speaker, and Lunafreya laughed in delight. "Oh, I did it!"

"Of course you did – you're pretty good at this so far. Plus… if you get into real trouble, I'll make sure we get through it."

"Well, then I'm _certain_ we'd prevail."

Ignis' lips pulled upward. In all the years he'd know Noct, he'd never been this openly happy. It was as though the rest of the world and its troubles didn't exist to the boy – _man_ – as he taught Lunafreya how to play King's Knight on their shared bench on the train.

Gladio groaned lowly from his seat across from where Ignis and Prompto were sharing their own bench. The three of them were on the other side of the aisle as Noct and Lunafreya, so Ignis doubted the two of them would hear anything unless they spoke up.

"I think I'm gettin' a cavity being near these two…" Gladio muttered, looking at his newspaper.

"Duuude. Come on." Prompto gave him a flat look. "You got something against happiness?"

Gladio frowned, looking up at him. "This isn't a vacation, Prompto. We're still on a mission here."

"Nevertheless…" Ignis cut in before the debate could take a more unpleasant turn. "It's been twelve years, Gladio. There's nothing more of importance we can do before we reach Cartanica – let them enjoy their time together."

Gladio relented with a shrug, going back to his newspaper.

Prompto covered his mouth, fake-coughing out, " _Killjoy._ "

The glare Gladio pinned him under spoke of an unpleasant training session in store for Prompto at the next available opportunity.

Truly, though. There was no harm in Noct and Lunafreya having a bit of fun since they were currently out of danger.

* * *

"Look alive!" Gladio shouted, summoning his weapon.

Ignis and Prompto both had their own weapons in hand instantly. Gurangatch. Several of them.

Faster than usual, Noct warp-struck into the fray, and Gladio had to sprint to catch up with him. My, Noct was eager for a fight today, it seemed. Ignis slid in to watch Lunafreya's back. There was no keeping up with the prince when he got like this. Gladio could try and chase him around the area if he wished, but Ignis was going to keep an eye out from where he could see a full picture.

…And what a picture it was.

While Noct's movements were usually flashy, he was being entirely overly extravagant in his attacks. All his normally "cool" moves were amplified with new levels of flourish that were so clearly for show that they couldn't even be practical anymore.

"Noct, will you quit dancing with the damn thing and kill it?" Gladio snapped, fending off some very large teeth with his shield. "You can impress your fiancée when she's not about to get her head bitten off!"

Noct dropped to the ground just long enough to toss the strongest glare Ignis had ever seen him use over his shoulder at Gladio before he was gone again, this time striking normally. Ignis was sure he'd seen Noct's cheeks turn red. No doubt he was embarrassed that his act had been outed so blatantly.

Ignis swallowed a chuckle. Prompto was less subtle and his laugh rang around the swamp, his voice carrying well with all the water.

"Man, _shut up,_ " Noctis yelled with another glare.

Lunafreya was biting her lip as she tried not to laugh to herself, but her eyes were lit with affection anyway. Ignis fended off a monster that had been about to take advantage of her distraction by chomping down on her leg.

…All right, so this _could_ become a problem.

* * *

"Looks like Pretty Boy's on a mission," Aranea noted.

Ignis looked up from the cup of Ebony the Commodore had been kind enough to supply him with since they'd met up with her in Tenebrae. He _had_ been enjoying a pleasant conversation with her with everyone else being absent, but it appeared that was going to have to wait, as Noct was approaching them looking rather… frazzled.

Ignis frowned. "Problem, Noct?"

Noct stopped in front of him, fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey, Ignis, you got a sec?"

Ignis set his Ebony aside. "Certainly. What's troubling you?"

"No trouble, just… I, um…" His gaze hesitantly flickered to Aranea. "Could you… not be here?"

Aranea huffed out a laugh. "Still don't trust me, Pretty Boy?"

Noct's awkwardness was growing by the second. "No, it's not about trust, I just… I need advice on stuff."

Aranea did nothing more than raise an eyebrow. She didn't budge an inch, and Ignis was about to back up Noct's request for privacy when–

" _Ineedadviceonkissing._ "

Oh. _Oh dear._

"I see…" Ignis cleared his throat. "Noct, I believe Gladio might be more helpful in that particular area…"

Noct's awkwardness disappeared just long enough for him to hit Ignis with an _'are you freaking kidding me?'_ look. " _Hell no._ He'd never let me hear the end of it!"

Still… he wasn't the most experienced himself. Generally, the few women who had been interested in the past lost interest in him relatively quickly due to him devoting more time to his duties than them. "Yes, I understand your hesitance, but he truly would be the better man to talk to in regards to–"

"You need to seem confident," Aranea said casually, as though this was a common topic for her. "You know those limp fish handshakes some people give? Yeah, same thing applies to kissing. Don't be a limp fish. You can't know what the other person's gonna do, but you gotta be confident on your end. Like this."

Ignis' brain short circuited as there were lips suddenly pressed to his own, and he was too shocked to even close his eyes. The small table behind him supported nearly all of his weight, and he was fairly certain he looked like a disheveled chocobo in the middle of the road with headlights blaring down upon him by the time she was through.

Aranea pulled away, her attention fully back to Noct. "See? Just like that."

Noct looked very much like he wanted to bleech his eyes.

"Oi, Lady A!" one of Aranea's men called.

"Gotta go, boys. See you later." Aranea tossed them both a wink as she walked off.

Ignis' mind reeled in silence for a few moments.

 _Had she just…_

 _What?_

 _What had just happened?_

"…I think I might be too traumatized to even tease you about that."

Ignis pushed off the table, straightening his glasses and shirt. "Noct, should you ever bring this up again or tell the others, you _will_ find broccoli in every dish that you eat for the rest of your life, and that includes desserts."

"…Guess that answered my question about what you were doing over here, though."

"I will poison you and hang myself for treason."

No one had said anything about Noctis' love life causing him personal trauma from an overload on embarrassment.

* * *

"Now, this is a lovely piece here." Ignis held the small box up to Noct for him to see. "A diamond at the center and crystals to the sides. Very elegant–"

"I don't like it."

Ignis sighed, kneading his forehead. "Noct, you barely looked at it."

"And I don't like it!" Noct crossed his arms, looking far more like a pouting teenager than the current King of Lucis who had just reclaimed his crown and defeated the Empire. That ridiculous mariachi hat wasn't helping his case much other, but Noct had been insistent that word would not get around Altissia that he was looking all over for an engagement ring – _to propose properly with this time,_ he'd said. "How is looking at something I don't like gonna make me like it more? Let's just look at something else already."

Ignis sighed again, setting the box down and pulling out his phone instead. "Very well."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Noct, we've been to four different retail establishments specializing in engagement rings and previewed over two hundred choices–"

"You counted?"

"–and yet you have managed to find fault with every one of them." Ignis held the phone to his ear. "I am making an appointment with Dino so you can have a custom design more to your taste that _doesn't_ expend all the funds of our _just_ re-established government."

"…My own design, huh?" Noct chewed his lip thoughtfully.

"Yes."

"Annnd you're gonna help me with that, right?"

"…Of course, Majesty."

Astrals help him, he was going to go grey before he hit his thirties.

He later regretted not being more patient with Noct. At least he wasn't horrifying like Lunafreya when she had her mind set on a particular mission.

* * *

While cabinets being slammed in the middle of the night in the Citadel would have been abnormal before, they were definitely abnormal with how few people were currently living there.

Ignis stifled a yawn as he stepped through the doorway to the kitchen and stared blankly at the scene before him. The beloved – _composed_ – Queen of Lucis and Oracle of the world was on an absolute tear through the kitchen, leaving a disorderly trail of boxes, packages, cans, and fresh fruits strewn about the counters as though the kitchen had been ransacked by group of rage-filled thieves looking for a secret passageway in the depths of the cupboards.

"…Lunafreya?" Ignis dared ask.

She whirled on him instantly. "Answer me this, Ignis: is this to be the kitchen for all the staff and members of the royal court?"

"…Yes."

"So, we are to live off what is in this kitchen?"

"…Yes."

"Then why under the skies of Eos has there been no attempt to obtain _any amount of chocolate?_ Or cookies? Or cake? What is the point of a stocked kitchen _without everything that is important?_ "

Ignis blinked slowly. "…I will make an effort to attain such items at a later date."

"No." She jabbed a finger at him. "A _sooner_ date."

"…Understood, Majesty." He lifted his hand in the direction of the freezer. "I… believe there's some chocolate ice cream." He would honestly much rather deal with Gladio's wrath over missing ice cream than Lunafreya's, he was learning.

Lunafreya was digging in the freezer so fast Ignis almost could have sworn she warped, but perhaps that was just the illusions of his mind at three in the morning. She gathered her goods into her arms and shot for the door. She stopped mid-way, looking back at him like a skittish owl before trying to gather herself into some sort of form of her usual poise. It was a tad difficult to see her as such when she was cradling an entire carton of ice cream, a bag of chips, and– dear Astrals, was that a jar of pickles?

"…Goodnight, Ignis."

"…Goodnight, my lady…"

Ignis couldn't say he was terribly surprised when she started excusing herself to vomit periodically throughout the next few days. He _shouldn't_ have been surprised that Noct was entirely oblivious to the entire thing. After four days and likely the twentieth time Lunafreya had excused herself, Ignis decided it was time to intervene.

" _Noct._ "

Noctis froze in the middle of the hallway alongside Prompto, no doubt knowing that tone. "Yeah?"

"Your child is causing your wife great discomfort; might I suggest you give her some support?"

Noct's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "My _what?_ "

Ignis sighed. Utterly hopeless.

* * *

" _WhatdoIdo? What do I do? Should I go in there? Should I give her some space? How long has it be? Hasn't it been a really long time already–_ "

"Noct, shut the hell up and sit down!" Gladio finally snapped, interrupting the King's blabbering and pacing.

Ignis rubbed his temples. He wanted to believe this sort of chaos would die down once the baby was actually born in the next few hours, but he knew better. If Noct and Luna wanted their child to live, they certainly wouldn't be leaving her in the care of Gladio and Prompto when they needed a break.

* * *

 _Help._

 _Please help me._

 _IGNIS._

 _SAVE ME._

 _PLEASE._

To be honest, Ignis didn't need Noct's increasingly desperate texts to tell him Noct could use a helping hand. The ear-piercing screams of the princess were telltale enough. And growing steadily closer.

" _Ignis,_ " Noct pleaded through the locked door.

"No," Ignis yelled over the crying and kept looking at his papers. He wasn't caving this time.

"…C'mon, Iggy…"

"You're grown man and the Chosen King of Eos, Noct. You are fully capable of changing a diaper."

"But–"

" _No._ "

* * *

" _Iggy._ "

Ten minutes, and Ignis was still fighting tears. He knew, of course, that the princess' first word was more likely due everyone screaming his name whenever they needed something than anything else, but still. He was honored.

"I can't believe she picked you over her own parents." Noct was cross, frowning at his daughter as she lay asleep in her mother's arms.

Luna was amused. "Noctis, you shout for him every time she so much as sniffs – of course she learned his name first."

"I think it's adorable!" Prompto gushed, holding up his camera. "Gotta put this memory in the books!"

"Prompto, no–"

 _Flash._

 _Click._

 _Gurgle. Blink. Scream_

Ignis considering offering to take the princess to lull her back to sleep, but he was fairly certain if the child left Luna's arms, she might need to be physically restrained from mauling Prompto's face off.

* * *

"Goodnight, Uncle Iggy."

Ignis smiled softly, pulling the covers over the princess' shoulders. "Goodnight, little one."

He flicked the light switch on his way out, leaving the area in almost complete darkness, apart from the TV in the next room. Ignis chuckled at the sight of the two exhausted royals curled up and asleep on the couch in front of their movie. They hadn't even made it halfway through, and they were still dressed for work.

Ignis crossed the room quietly, finding the remote and turning the volume of the film down some before grabbing the blanket off the nearby chair and laying it over them both.

Happily ever after was a lot of work, but everything worthwhile was.

He was so glad Noct and Luna had found their happiness, and though it was wearisome at times, he was glad to play such a key role in it.


End file.
